Recording History
by Tofu-Master
Summary: Sap!alert. When Bookman announces to Lavi, that it's time for them to leave the Black Order, it hits him quite hard. He can't leave Kanda behind...not when he's just realized how much he needs him. Yuusagi Kanda x Lavi


Recording History

**Recording History**

_**A/N:**_ _Wow!! I'm back, and full-throttle this time, too!! This is my first FINISHED D.Grey-Man fic. I'm working on another one, but I won't post any of it until I finish at least two chapters. Sorry. Anywho, this fic is of the Kanda/Lavi sort. And it's a oneshot! I do hope you all enjoy!!_

_**Disclaimer: **__I don't own D.Grey-Man. If I did, the plot would focus mainly on Kanda and Tyki's possessive battle over Lavi's heart. …And body._

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The fateful day had finally arrived; the day Lavi had been dreading since he'd joined the Black Order, four years earlier. Bookman had come to him that morning, and told him to pack his things. It was finally time for them to move on.

Lavi sat in the middle of the room, amid a flurry of paper and boxes. The bookman heir had a small pile of photographs -- of _memories_ -- that he had accumulated with his fellow exorcists. _"No…" _he thought. _"They're _not _my comrades. They never have been. We're just on their side, because it's convenient…" _He repeated Bookman's infamous speech in his head, but was unable to convince himself. Shaking his head, the boy reached for another photo, and brought it to the flame emanating from the small candle held in his other hand. The corner had barely been singed, when the red-head suddenly snatched it back. Setting the candle on the ground next to him, he brought the picture to his face for closer inspection.

Four faces smiled back at him. Well, three were smiling. Kanda, of course, was not. The picture had been taken a few months ago, when Lavi, Kanda, Allen, and Lenalee had taken a mini vacation in Venice. Allen was sitting on the left, with Lenalee seated comfortably between his legs. Kanda was cross-legged in the centre; Lavi sprawled awkwardly across his lap. The bookman heir had tripped whilst trying to sit down, and had landed on the stoic exorcist, just as the flash went off.

His green eye focused on Kanda's face, and he couldn't help the soft smile that graced his lips. Lavi shook his head, folded the picture in half, and slid it into the front pocket of his coat.

"_A bookman has no need for a heart."_

He told himself this, over and over again, but still, the image of _his_ face flashed through the red-head's mind. No matter what, he couldn't seem to get Kanda _out_ of his mind. The man had been occupying his thoughts for months now. At first, Lavi had just passed it as a strong sense of fondness; the way one might feel about a close friend. But then he remembered; _"He hates me." _That one realization - those _three simple words - _were enough to crush Lavi's world. And so, he tried to occupy himself with other things, and began an attempt to avoid the Japanese exorcist. But it never had a chance of working, of course. And so he resigned to his thoughts. And, his feelings. This morning, was the worst he ever remembered having.

**o0o Flashback o0o**

_He'd been awakened early, by a knock on his door. Lavi automatically assumed it was Allen. Gramps _never _knocked._

"_Come in!" he called, still groggy with sleep. He was quite surprised, when Bookman walked calmly into his room._

"_Lavi," he'd said somberly. "Today's the day."_

_No. No, no, no. How often had he heard those words? They always meant the same thing -that they would have to leave. He didn't want to leave. Not this place, these people. Especially not-_

"_You've grown fond," the old panda interrupted his troubled thoughts. "Fond of this place. Or perhaps…of some_one_…?"_

_Damnit. The old man knew just where his thoughts were leading him. He'd always known his student, better than the boy had ever known himself._

"_Lavi… A bookman has-"_

"_A bookman has no need for a heart; I know!!" Lavi clenched his hands, staring at the ground. "But just because I have no _need_ for a heart…doesn't mean I don't have one at all!!"_

"_Boy…you knew from the very start. We were only here as observers, nothing more. We were never going to stay for long." Lavi was visibly shaking by this point. Bookman sighed, and crossed the room. "They are not our comrades, Lavi. We were only on their side because it was convenient. Do not forget, you are the heir to the Bookman legacy."_

"…_I'm an exorcist, too."_

"_But you are of the Bookman clan, first and foremost."_

"_I…" Lavi stopped himself, unsure of whether he should reveal his thoughts. Bookman watched him, expectantly. _

"_I would stay," Lavi continued, "by his side…"_

"'_His'?" Bookman raised an eyebrow. "Of all the people for you to break protocol for….it's Kanda, isn't it?" Lavi's head snapped up, to stare at the old man in shock. How had he known? How _long_ had he known?_

"…_yes."_

"_And why him? I thought he-"_

"_I know he hates me!!" Lavi cried, interrupting him. "But that doesn't change the fact that I…I would die for him, you know? I would gladly lay down my life, so that he may live another day. The two of us….there's no comparison, in my mind. He's far more important than I'll ever be. To me, he's everything."_

_Bookman stood quietly, thinking, before he decided to speak again._

"_You knew in coming here, Lavi, that there would be an end to it. You've allowed yourself to become attached, so the pain you're feeling now is your own fault."_

"_Please, Gramps…" Lavi was reduced to begging, now. Trying to reason with the old man, obviously wasn't getting him anywhere. "Let me stay here. You can find a new heir. Let me stay. …I would rather die, than have to leave him behind."_

_The two silently watched one another for what seemed like hours, until the silence was finally broken. And with it, so was Lavi's heart._

"_Then die," Bookman said coldly. "But do it on your own time, and only after you've fulfilled your purpose as the next Bookman. Pack your things. We leave tonight."_

_And then, Lavi was left feeling more alone, than he ever had before. But, little did either of them know, that a certain beige Golem had been watching the whole thing._

**o0o End Flashback o0o**

"Wow…I see. Thank you for showing me, Tim." Allen reached into his coat with his free hand, and pulled out a small package of cookies. He held it out to Timcanpy, who took it eagerly.

"Take that to Komui-san. He'll open it for you. Right now, I need to find Kanda."

The tiny Golem nodded it's head vigorously, before flying off down the hall. Allen watched it disappear swiftly around a corner.

It was nearly dark, by the time Allen found Kanda out in the training grounds.

"Oi!! Kanda!" he called.

Finishing his sequence, Kanda turned, and glared in Allen's direction.

"What do you want, Moyashi!?"

Allen twitched at the nickname, but let it pass this once.

"Did you know Lavi's leaving tonight?" he called back. "You might wanna go say goodbye!"

"Maa, why would I do that!? I'll see the usagi-brat when he gets back!!"

"He's not coming back!" Allen retorted, missing the surprised frown that found its way to his normally passive face. "So you might want to go say goodbye!! I know he'll want to see you!!"

Kanda stalked over to the short boy, and glared menacingly down at him.

"And just what do you mean by that, Walker?" Before Kanda could make any further inquiries, something zoomed past him, to land on Allen's shoulder. Timcanpy burped, and a stray crumb flew out to land on Allen's nose.

"Ah, Tim! Why don't you explain?"

**o0o o0o o0o**

Lavi had finished burning his 'memories', and was now laying on his empty bed, waiting for sleep to claim him. Bookman had agreed that it would be best for them to stay one last night, and leave in the morning. Another knock at his door, alerted him of the other's presence.

"Come in," he called out for the second time that day, even less enthusiastically than he had the first. His utter shock was made apparent, when Kanda walked through the door.

"You don't look pleased to see me, Lavi."

"I…I just..wasn't expecting to see you again…"

"Hmm…" Kanda watched Lavi through narrowed eyes, as he walked further into the room, closing and locking the door behind him. "I don't hate you, Lavi. And I _don't_ want you to leave."

Lavi just stared at him. He didn't know how to react to those words, no matter how happy he was to hear them. If only it weren't to late…

Kanda watched as Lavi seemed to slip into a sort of daze. He walked over to him, sat next to him, on the bed, and leaned forward so their noses were almost touching. Lavi noticed their close proximity, and was about to pull back, but before he could move at all, Kanda's had pushed him down on the bed. He used one hand to hold Lavi's wrists above his head, and the other to hold his head in place.

"I don't want you to leave," he repeated, before dipping his head slightly, and tracing Lavi's bottom lip with his tongue. Lavi opened his mouth in a cry of surprise, and Kanda took to chance to push his tongue in.

Lavi's heart was beating a mile-a-minute, and he had to try his best not to moan, as he felt the wet muscle enter his mouth. Minutes passed, and Kanda pulled away; a long string of saliva retaining the connection between their mouths, before it finally snapped. Gasping for breath, Lavi looked up into Kanda's eyes. Indeed he saw no hatred there. Only warmth, determination, and…something else? Lust perhaps?

"Lavi…" Kanda seemed to be struggling with something.

"…hai?" Lavi waited for some response, but none came. Well, not the kind he was expecting, anyway. Kanda leant down once more, and surprised Lavi with a kiss more gentle, than the red-head had ever thought possible. But Kanda's hands were working frantically on undoing the buttons on his shirt. When he finally got the last button free, he broke the kiss, and pulled Lavi up away from the mattress; all but ripping the shirt from him. The blue-haired man then laid him back down, and began to kiss and suck down his neck, his chest, stomach…and lower. He stopped when he reached the hem of Lavi's pants, and looked back up at the younger boy, silently asking his permission. Lavi understood the message being conveyed, and nodded his head in approval.

Kanda unclasped the buttons holding Lavi's pants closed, and slid them down to his ankles, boxers and all. Lavi gulped anxiously, as the older boy tossed them aside to the floor.

"Shh…" Kanda whispered, before taking Lavi's already hardened length in his mouth. Lavi gasped, and bucked his hips, silently begging for more. He was pushed back down by a firm hand on his hip. Kanda pulled back slightly, and swirled his tongue around the tip of Lavi's member, causing the boy beneath him to gasp in pleasure. Feeling a need to show Lavi exactly who was in control, he bit down slightly, merely scraping his teeth along the underside of his penis. This action was rewarded appropriately, as Lavi came into his mouth. Kanda pulled back, and wiped his lips with the back of his hand. He proceeded to remove his own clothes, noting with pleasure how Lavi's eye widened just slightly, with every bit of his body that was revealed. Finally, he came back to lean over Lavi once again.

Lavi moaned as Kanda kissed him again. He could taste himself on the man's lips, and it fascinated him, as did any new situation. This was it. This was what he'd been wanting for so long now. But then…why was he still so afraid?

"Do you want to continue, Lavi?" asked Kanda, pulling back ever-so-slightly. Lavi nodded, and his confidence grew.

"Take me any way you want me."

Kanda nodded in understanding, and lifted Lavi's legs, letting them rest on his shoulders. He help out three fingers, and Lavi knew immediately what needed to be done. He took the digits in his mouth, swirling his tongue around them, and coating them with saliva.

"That's enough..." said Kanda finally, taking them back. Slowly, he inserted a single finger into Lavi's opening. Lavi squirmed at the unfamiliar sensation, but Kanda's soothing voice soon calmed him. He lay there, relaxed, and waited for the next one. He couldn't help but gasp, as Kanda pushed another one in.

"It's okay, Lavi…" he whispered, making a scissoring motion with his fingers, to help the boy stretch. Then, he added the third finger, and Lavi cried out in discomfort. Kanda leaned forward, and pressed his lips to Lavi's softly, succeeding in calming him down once again. He pulled all three fingers out, and positioned himself at Lavi's entrance. Without waiting for any sign from the red-head, he pushed in to the hilt, fully enclosing himself in Lavi's warmth.

Lavi bit down hard on his lip, to prevent from screaming. He was used to pain - he'd known it like a brother most of his life - but this was a different kind of pain. This was felt from all the nerves in his body, and he couldn't help but cry out, as Kanda pulled back, only to sheath himself inside the younger boy once more.

"Shh…Relax, Lavi. It won't hurt for long, I promise, but you need to relax."

Kanda continued to move in, and out, and soon, Lavi felt all the pain - all the discomfort - give way to such pleasure, he's never known possible. He moaned loudly, and raised his hips to meet Kanda's thrusts. It just felt so good..! Kanda used his hand, to start jacking Lavi off, helping the pressure to build in the pits of his stomach. Lavi screamed Kanda's name as he came, and Kanda was soon to follow.

"That was your first time, wasn't it?" asked Kanda, as he held Lavi in his arms, striking his damp hair.

"You're my first love, so yeah…" he answered, leaning into the older boy's touch.

Kanda thought over that statement. _"So, he really does love me..."_ he thought, smiling. "Hey Lavi?"

He received no reply. It was then that he noticed the steady rise-and-fall of the boy's chest, and realized that he had already fallen asleep.

"Goodnight, my usagi.." he whispered, before he too, was swept into the land of dreams.

**o0o o0o o0o**

When Kanda awoke the next morning, he was pleased, and surprised, to find Lavi still enclosed in the safety of his arms.

"_I'm glad…he decided to stay after all."_

Lavi squirmed in his sleep, before his eye popped open. He turned over, and eyed Kanda lazily.

"You're still here," Kanda voiced his earlier thought.

"Yeah…" Lavi smiled. "From now on, I'm gonna record my own history."

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**THE END**


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